When a pregnancy ends early, in whatever circumstances, it can be a devastating time for a woman. Men can also be deeply affected.
Whether the pregnancy was planned or unplanned, you may experience a range of feelings which include disbelief, sadness, emptiness, anger, disappointment and a sense of isolation. These are normal feelings that we experience after a loss.
However for you they may have been unanticipated, especially if your pregnancy was unplanned. You may be overwhelmed and confused trying to make sense of the way you feel.
Many women find it helpful to talk about their loss and the circumstances around it, however it can be difficult to share such intimate details and feelings with family and friends.
Talking to an experienced, empathic counsellor who has had training in this special type of loss may be helpful.
OPEN DOORS Counselling will provide you with a confidential safe space in which to talk, be heard and feel supported as you process your thoughts, feelings and emotions around your experience.
When a pregnancy ends, you and your partner have experienced a major loss. After such a loss it is normal for you both to have a range of feelings and emotions e.g. shock, intense sadness, disbelief, guilt. You may even feel a sense of relief if the pregnancy was unplanned.
You may not want to show your grief in front of your partner because you think it will make her feel worse. As a man, you may feel it is your role to comfort and protect, so you put your own feelings aside or you suffer in silence. You may even use alcohol, drugs or become a workaholic to avoid your pain and feelings of helplessness. However your selfless intentions may actually lead to conflict in the relationship as your partner may feel you have become silent and distant and she may interpret this as ‘you don’t care’.
Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. Sharing your thoughts, feelings and concerns around your loss with your partner may draw you closer and avoid possible conflict as you process your grief.
If you, your partner or your relationship are struggling after a pregnancy loss, counselling may help. Open Doors can provide a safe confidential space in which you will be able to give your grief a voice and be heard, validated and supported by our caring counsellors, who are specially trained in this type of loss.
The information on this website is not a substitute for personal counselling. You should always seek outside help if you are unsure what to do. If you need to talk to someone you can call –
Open Doors Counselling
for any kind of pregnancy loss (miscarriage, termination, IVF, ectopic, stillbirth)
Low cost, unlimited sessions available.
For women, men and couples.
5 Greenwood Ave Ringwood 3134 Victoria, Australia.
03 9870 7044
1800 647 995 (Freecall outside Melb.)
Use our Contact Form to request an appointment or a call back, or to ask a question. On the Contact Form tell us your phone number (Australia only), the best day and time for us to call you, and let us know if it’s ok to leave a message should you not be able to answer the phone. A counsellor will call by the next business day during Centre opening hours (Mon: 9.30-8.00pm; Tues, Wed, Thur: 9.30-3.00pm. Closed public holidays.) You can also request an appointment for face to face counselling or just ask a question.