Am I Gay - Helping the adolescent

by Anne Neville
(R.N.; Dip. Pastoral Psychotherapy;Dip. Marriage and Family Therapy; M.A.C.P.)
 

Theories about homosexual orientation.

Sexuality and identity.

Adolescent psychosexual development.

Providing protection and boundaries during adolescence.

Strategies for the classroom teacher.

Understanding the development of sexual identity and helping the adolescent through the process.
 

In this day of more liberal attitudes and greater “tolerance” on a whole range of issues, one area that is being given a great deal of attention is homosexuality. More individuals than ever before are “coming out” and declaring their sexual preference for same-sex partners. In the press we read about gay and lesbian groups pressing for recognition of their rights, seeking same-sex marriage and clamoring to change the definition of family to allow for same-sex parents.

The topic of homosexuality engenders a variety of responses - many of them less than tolerant and some openly hostile. Homophobia is something that most people are quite familiar with although they may be reluctant to admit to. The whole issue is renowned for its lack of clarity and difference of opinions.

For years there has been considerable speculation about the origins of, and reasons for, homosexuality. Many theories circulate and the question of “nature versus nurture” continues to be debated. Results of studies on biological and genetic influences have, so far, been shown to be very limited and less than definitive. The effect of prenatal hormones, differences in brain size and structure and the isolation of a “gay gene” have all been considered as contributing factors. However, evidence to support these theories has been very limited and, to a certain extent, somewhat biased.

Suffice to say that the phenomenon of homosexuality is complex and multi-faceted. It is concerned with the human ability to relate - a capacity shaped by psychological, sociological, biological, environmental and family influences. In fact, any human behavior is going to be the result of the complex intermingling of genetics and environment.

Most of us have a deep-seated longing for connectedness - we desire a loving intimate relationship with another. Too often intimacy is confused with sex - which is but a part of human relating. We live in a “feel good” society where the message tends to be to go with one’s instincts rather than using caution and restraint. Old teachings and moral codes are often considered old fashioned or out-moded. This has left society in a valueless vacuum.

Sex is used to sell almost everything and we are continually exposed to sexual themes in commercialism, the media and in the entertainment industry. In fact, we are in danger of losing sight of the value of our sexuality. We, as adults, need to be very clear about our own ideals and values and also to be mindful of the implications that society’s broader views may have on our young ones.

Homosexuality is an issue that engenders strong emotional responses and conflicts with traditional Christian teaching and ethics. So often we hear about the pain expressed by parents who struggle to come to terms with the lifestyle of a gay son or lesbian daughter. Parents are often at odds with their own belief systems and their love for their offspring. We also hear of young people’s confusion, guilt and self-loathing in their struggle with the issue. There is usually fear and dread associated with being “found out” and anxious speculation about the response of family and friends.

A 1996 study of 18-25 year old gay men revealed that their risk of suicide was very high with more than half having attempted to kill themselves (Dow, 1996). Suicidal thoughts were common in five out of six of the men studied and low self-worth, a sense of shame and a code of silence contributed to many feeling desperate. Most of the young men taking part in the study became aware of their same-sex attraction in their secondary school years. On the other hand there are many homosexuals wrestling with their discomfort about same-sex attraction or being involved in a homosexual lifestyle. Often this propels them to suicidal thoughts.

Some years ago a $50,000 national advertising campaign was launched by the AIDS Council and funded by the Federal Government. The ads appeared in the gay press and in teenage magazines “Dolly” and “Smash Hits”, targeting boys as young as 13. The aim, according to the President of the Australian Federation of AIDS Organizations, was to “create fraternity among homosexual youths”. It targeted people around the age of puberty and adolescence, stating: “They have such turbulent problems coming to terms with their sexuality.... We want them to know help is available” (AAP News report 15/4/93).

This campaign was clearly aimed at a very vulnerable group who could be at great risk entering a lifestyle fraught with risk-taking at a time when their cognitive and psychological development is still incomplete. Yet, it seems that our young people want direction and rules. This was apparent in a study of Year 10 students conducted by Latrobe University in 1998 which focussed on the needs of adolescents. Teenagers were feeling overwhelmed by “choices in society” (Age, 20/2/98) and looked to caring adults, primarily parents, to give guidance and to set boundaries. In fact they seemed to experience those that didn’t give guidance as non-caring.

Young adolescents are in a state of transition from what they were in childhood to what they will be in adulthood. They go out into a “no man’s land” so to speak. Erik Erikson refers to this phase as an “identity crisis” where the search for the ultimate self takes place. Part of this quest is for sexual identity. In the shift from the identity as a child to the identity of an adult it is important to approach the issue of sex education in such a way that will enhance the progression rather than thwart it inadvertently.

Psychodynamic theory considers good identity formation as the foundation stone for intimacy. True intimacy is the ability to form a mature relationship.

To best meet the needs of young teenagers concerned about sexual orientation, parents and teachers need to understand more about the normal process of psychosexual development and what it means for the adolescent.
 

Sexual orientation plays a significant part in defining who we are. From very early the child is aware of whether it is male or female. “I am a boy” or “I am a girl” forms part of human identity not only in physical terms but also has its psychological implications. Identity is the end product of a whole process of identification (Moberley, 1983). Acceptance or rejection of oneself as masculine or feminine is often based on feelings learned in childhood. Where there is gender acceptance by parents the child will usually feel all right about being male or female. In turn, any gender rejection or disappointment may be felt as a total rejection affecting their ability to relate to either or both parents. These primary relationships are fundamental to a lifelong process of human interaction.

Sexual identity is tied to personal identity. Too often there is a tendency to separate one from the other. Sexuality is about who we are as total human beings. The noted psychoanalyst Carl Jung believed that everyone has both masculine and feminine components and that both aspects need recognition and development in order for the personality to be whole. This does not detract from the real differences between the sexes in any way. In fact it deepens our capacity to relate.
 

At puberty the adolescent becomes very concerned with “Who am I?” on a far deeper level. It is a time when the need to function as a more separate being emerges and the issues of sexuality and gender identity become highlighted. It is also a time when doubts and uncertainties arise and, in the area of sexuality, may lead the teenager to wonder “Am I gay?”. This may particularly apply to the young person who has felt as if he/she is “different” in some way. The more creative or artistic adolescent or the boy who does not pursue the traditional “macho” activities, such as football, may be more susceptible to doubt. The young guy with a more sensitive temperament and artistic interests will often be ridiculed. Being branded a “poofter”, a judgement he may internalise, can leave him vulnerable to doubt and suggestion.

Likewise the girl who is tomboyish and does not follow mainstream feminine pursuits may find herself being teased for being different. Girls tend to develop passionate attachments in same-sex relationships as part of the normal process of heterosexual development. It is very natural for hero worship to play a significant part in identity development for both boys and girls. These “crushes”, perhaps on close friends or even a teacher, need to be recognized for what they are - transient experiences that provide emotional closeness within a safe environment.

Because of the greater intensity of erotic feelings in adolescence, the young teenager may be more vulnerable to suggestion, coercion or doubt. It is not uncommon to feel an attraction to someone of the same sex. This may be for any number of reasons apart from a sexual attraction but, because we live in an age of sexual awareness and scrutiny, doubts regarding sexual orientation may be raised. Some sexual experimentation is also not uncommon but should not be seen as an absolute in gender assignation. Also there may be considerable concerns about being attractive to the opposite sex. These issues need to be addressed.

In order to understand the adolescent’s quest for separateness and a sense of identity, it is important to reflect on the process of psychosexual development that has taken place up to this point. Erikson’s view of personality sheds much light on where the teenager is on his/her journey towards being able to relate in mature terms. In adolescence the individual employs the process that Erikson defined as identity diffusion - that is trying out various roles and “identities”, adopting and modifying some, discarding others. This process of selection and amalgamation enables the adolescent to arrive at a sense of “Who I am”. This is not an easy task and one that consists of failures and disappointments as he/she works through the problems of attaining an identity (Lindgred & Byrne, 1971).

However the formation of identity in all its aspects starts well before adolescence. Let’s look back to the origins of attachment and the process of psychosexual development that influences who we become.

The baby’s first attachment is to the mother. She provides security as well as nourishment. She is the child’s entire world, providing the foundations for the child’s sense of trust. Essentially language doesn’t feature as the main form of communication but rather the relationship itself speaks of the mother being “tuned in” to the child and the child responding simultaneously to the mother.

It is here that the foundations of trust are laid - where a child’s reality is confirmed and affirmed through the subtle and unintrusive responsiveness of the mother. A positive maternal response encourages the child to expose vulnerability and fragility and receive comfort and affirmation in return allowing for the development of the “true self”.

Maintenance of this sense of security is a cornerstone in the ability to relate to others in a mature way. The child is totally dependent, relying on the mother (the primary caregiver) for all his/her needs. How these needs are served will often impact on future development. An individual’s confidence in him/her self as well as a sense of being valued by others are inextricably linked and influence identity from a very early age (Bowlby, 1973). The mother/child bond does a lot to give us the sense of being loved and, also, to develop a belief that “I am lovable’, a vital ingredient for future relationships.
 

Whilst it is a necessary part of development for both girls and boys that the infantile symbiotic ties with the mother are broken, it is especially important for male gender identification. A boy’s masculinity may be threatened if he does not move away from his mother and identify with his father or another significant male. He needs to do this in order to define a sense of who he is as a male. Whilst girls are able to retain the identification link with the mother they too must disengage from their symbiotic ties in order to differentiate and shift their love-choice from female to male (Viorst, 1986).

The father needs to be actively involved to initiate this process for both son and daughter. His involvement provides extra security as well as identity. His role is important in determining boundaries and he needs to be physically present to actively demonstrate this. Most children love to wrestle and play fight. Fathers can provide the competition that comes with matching strength and agility whilst also modeling the restraint and containment that is essential in mature relationships.

Steve Biddulph in his book Manhood says “support and help from those of your own gender is essential to make you secure in your sexual identity” (p.59). To be able to relate successfully to a woman, a man must feel secure about who he is as a male.

“Michael”, 23, acknowledged the way the loss of his father at age 5 influenced his uncertainty about his maleness when he said, “I had no-one to show me how to be a man.” His mother was overburdened with raising a family of 5 on her own. “Michael”, being a very sensitive boy, was very aware of his mother and her hardships but felt totally inadequate. He believed he had to step into his father’s shoes but didn’t know how. He had no other significant male in his life. He later recognized how he spent a lot of his teenage years looking for his father in homosexual encounters.

The absence of a warm and intimate father/son relationship can lead a boy to pull away in disappointment to a position of defensive detachment in order to protect himself. The boy carries within him a longing for the missing relationship and may form intense attachments to older boys. These are usually non-sexual initially but at puberty may develop into homosexual crushes. “Michael” said that he was especially vulnerable to the advances of others around the age of 12.

The father’s involvement is vital for the girl also. He provides the opportunity for vital opposite-sex relating so that his daughter can develop and test out her femininity within safe boundaries. Little girls usually dote on their fathers - sometimes with quite a degree of possessiveness. Their first “love affair” is with daddy and he, if secure in his own role, can help his daughter develop her capacity to function healthily in an opposite-sex relationship.

The relevancy and legitimacy of Freud’s theory of the Oedipus complex has been considered and debated over the years but it would seem there is evidence to suggest that most people experience their first “love affair” with the opposite sex parent in a very loving and natural way. This is just a normal part of the child’s psychosexual development and is a valuable forum for learning, provided that the parent has an understanding of this process, displays tolerance and does not abuse the appropriate parental boundary. It is through these strong bonds that the child feels his/her way towards opposite sex relating in later life.
 

The next step in the process involves reaching out to others outside the boundaries of the family unit. This is a big step for the child and tends to shake the ego, threatening identity and security. The world beyond is experienced and new relationships are explored - giving rise to the question of “Who am I?” in the context of the wider community. Trust, autonomy and initiative are tested. Conversely, mistrust, doubt and guilt may arise on a number of fronts that, subsequently, may affect one’s sense of self and the ability to relate.

Latency, around the age of 6-11, is a period of same-sex relationships when boys tend to express disinterest, even dislike, in girls and vice versa. The young person’s need is to be approved by peers and adults. He or she is now in the pre-puberty stage where things in the developmental process slow down. Parents often find this period a pleasant and relatively conflict-free time when communication is easier. It is in this time that an increased competence in intellectual, social and physical skills is developed.

It is often at the stage of prepubescence and early adolescence that intense attachments and “crushes” on same-sex figures or role models may emerge. These are a healthy part of growing up and relating and should be acknowledged as such. It is of concern that young adolescents can be driven away from forming these close same-sex friendships because of the fear of being labeled “gay”.

It could be said that these same-sex attachments perform a parallel function to the attachment to the same-sex parent that takes place at an earlier age - i.e. a further consolidation of actual identity.

Affiliation with same-sex individuals or groups provides the necessary role models and security through which a young person may develop and feel comfortable with their sense of masculine or feminine. It is therefore important that this process of development is allowed to proceed with as little bias or pressure as possible influencing its course.
 

This stage of equilibrium, however, is not destined to remain. With the onset of adolescence comes a challenge to identity, inner continuity and former values in social and cultural contexts. The move is further away from family and into relationships further afield. The peer group becomes of paramount importance and it provides the opportunity for opposite-sex relating on a more social level.

Adolescence is often described as a period of great turbulence - a roller coaster ride when the young individual seeks to discover him/herself in relation to the rest of the world. A great number of changes take place in order to make the transition from childhood to adulthood - physically, emotionally, socially and psychologically. It is a time of enormous development, fluctuation and ambivalence - wanting to be an adult but, at the same time, still needing the security and attention of childhood.

It is common for the teenager to become very self-conscious and be concerned about all matters related to sexuality and body image. Mental health problems, such as anxiety and depression, may arise. Interest in the opposite sex is awakened, creating its own uncertainty and anxiety.

Psychosocial skills, particularly in the area of conflict resolution and gender-related behaviour, are being developed as well as the ability to digest and assimilate a wealth of health related information. The ability to process this information adequately and be able to act on it appropriately is an enormous task at this time when cognitive development is still immature.

The sexual element is a dominant and powerful force - one that may raise doubts regarding sexual identity. Rapid physical changes at puberty are accompanied by powerful sexual urges. A boy may experience an erection during the rough play of the footy field or a girl may fantasize about an older female friend. Hormones are kicking in and this can cause concern. Adolescents worry about being “normal”, physically and emotionally.

It is a time when sexual experimentation may occur and it is important that, if this does occur, it is not interpreted as an indicator of absolute sexual identity or preference. Confusion may lead to a mistaken assumption that an individual is gay or lesbian. The same-sex love urge may in itself be an attempt to make reparation for any deficits in the process of sexual identity formation thus far and, in that case, may be a transient thing.
 

In order to develop a sense of identity and selfhood the adolescent seeks to gain recognition and acceptance from his peers. His identification with and adaptation to the culture of the peer group allows him to move away from his family of origin whilst simultaneously attaching to the “family” of the peer group - still addressing his need for security.

The peer group acts as a bridge between dependence and autonomy, assisting the adolescent to break the emotional ties of childhood - a very normal and, indeed, necessary step in order to become independent and self-directive. It provides a testing ground for thoughts, feelings and behaviour away from parental scrutiny. It is interesting to note that whilst the adolescent struggles to break the bonds of conformity within his family structure, he usually is working very hard at conforming to the dictates of the peer culture in the name of independence - rather an ironical paradox.
 

We arrive at healthy sexuality by working through this process. Indeed there are dangers associated with interfering with or pre-empting the normal process of psychosexual development. This process is concerned with attachments and detachments - a shift from the primary object of the first attachment, the mother, to various others, especially the father, who play a significant part in developing the capacity to relate. The detachment from mother is especially important for the male child. It is a necessary part of his same-sex identification that he transfers his attachment to his father or another significant male in order to lay the foundation for his sense of maleness.

From primitive times men have had their traditions or rituals associated with the transition from boyhood to manhood. With the changes to family structures in more modern society where more single parent families exist and the number of fatherless families has increased significantly, it can be argued that the role of the male has become less defined. The extended family of the past offered many substitute parent models of both sexes. The modern nuclear family may tend to limit a child’s adult contacts (James & Jongeward, 1971). Family therapist and author of the well-known book Manhood, Steve Biddulph, has expressed his concern at the current lack of fathering and absence of positive role models (Coslovich, 1996).

The more primitive tradition of going out into the wilderness with the tribal elders or the men of the tribe symbolically played out the boy’s separation from the women’s groups. He was challenged, channeled and supported by his male tribal members whilst his place as a tribal male was being shaped. The continuation of community was the essence of this transition. The masculine role was very clearly defined in his role as a hunter, decision-maker and also a spiritual leader in the tribe. Parents took a very active role in orchestrating the transition. Mothers relinquished their sons to their fathers after a certain age and concentrated on bringing their daughters to womanhood. Fathers provided sound role models and educated their sons in the ways of ensuring that their line was continued.

Within our modern culture there is a lack of the traditional tribal methods of initiation that prepared boys for manhood. Family communities are no longer so concentrated. Extended family also had a far more significant role to play in identity formation in days gone by.
 

So many changes take place in adolescence, which is a critical period of human development. The adolescent’s world is very complex - with adult difficulties having to be negotiated with adolescent skills and little experience. They are very vulnerable - often feeling confused, embarrassed and very anxious at times. They are often susceptible to suggestion in their quest for identity formation, especially if it fits in with a need to be different - as in the case of the rebellious teenager or in the self-conscious young person who may believe that he/she is somehow abnormal or different.

When there are doubts and fears the teenager may be more vulnerable to suggestion and coercion and it is this very concern that draws our attention to the danger of such individuals being influenced. Where there are underlying needs and deficits the young person may be especially vulnerable to issues that may cause them to doubt their sexual identity.

For many adolescents sexuality is a very fluid thing and can be greatly influenced by their environment. Sensitive handling allowing for the expression of fears and uncertainty at this stage is the preferred approach rather than any sort of action that pre-empts an absolute pronouncement on sexual orientation. To suggest that young people enter a gay community to see if it “feels comfortable” can take them into a scene that can be new and exciting and give them a misdirected sense of belonging. The confused adolescent can establish an addiction to dangerous behavioral patterns and, consequently, believe himself to be bi-sexual if not homosexual. Dangerous and thrill seeking activities can be powerfully attractive in adolescence.

Sex is one of the subjects that the teenager is naturally interested in as part of his development into a fully functioning adult. There is a natural curiosity about the erotic. Sex and sexuality is a topic that often causes the most difficulty both for the adolescent and the adult in terms of knowing how to approach it and deal with it adequately.

We need to be open in our discussion and be prepared to address questions related to sexuality in an honest way. We also need to be mindful that the adolescent may not always be completely sure of his sexual orientation and may have many doubts and fears that he is not normal in some way. What he needs to know is that this is part of his journey of discovery and that doubts are just that - doubts - not facts set in concrete.
 

The need for safety is primarily a need of the child but, however, one that flows on into adolescence. This is often seen in the teenager who tests the boundaries in a big way but who ultimately seeks the approval and backup of his family irrespective of how unreasonable or illogical the behaviour may be. One young man, “Darren”, told me how desperate he was just to be hugged when he was often at his most unreasonable. He had struggled with his sexuality. Uncertain about his difficulties relating to girls, he thought he was “strange” and had great apprehension about discussing his fears with anyone. His greatest fear was that he would be branded a homosexual rather than be recognized as someone who wondered about his sexual identity. Shame, secrecy and guilt can turn a doubt into a certainty.

This fear led to a heightened need for silence, and, subsequently, to his withdrawal. Any approach by others, especially his parents, would lead to angry outbursts and further retreat. If they retaliated in anger “Darren” would then experience rejection and abandonment. He said, “that was usually the time when I needed someone to be firm and just hang in there with me until I got things off my chest!”

During the vital formative years of adolescence young people need sensitive and careful handling within safe boundaries. They are vulnerable to the many external dangers and often need implications drawn for them about a wide variety of issues. Adolescents, by their own admission, need firm boundaries and have a desire for parents and significant others to exercise their natural authority and leadership. They, in fact, see adults who don’t set limits and state their values clearly as ineffective and weak. In order to formulate their own values, ideas and behaviors the adolescent needs to experience the natural push/pull effect of challenging the boundaries and ideals set by parents and others. It is therefore important that adults don’t abdicate their role too soon.
 

Teachers, therapists, counsellors and anyone working with young people and handling issues of sexual identity need to be careful that their own anxiety does not propel them towards exposing young people to too much, too soon. Sex education needs to be tailored to the appropriate developmental phase being mindful of the latency period when sexual energy and thoughts are usually dormant. It is in this time that natural inhibitions and avoidance of sexual topics act as a protective mechanism. To provide too much information at this period is counterproductive and, in fact, could be harmful.

In the classroom homosexuality and homophobia are often introduced as discussion topics. Both are controversial and require sensitive handling. Students debating or studying the topic may find themselves feeling anxious and baffled and at times even quite distressed if the issue is not handled appropriately.

Homosexuality is a study topic that requires students to have a level of maturity that will ensure the discussion is meaningful. To accommodate an understanding of such a sensitive issue, it would require the students to have cognitive skills beyond the capacity of the 12-14 year old. Given the complexity of the sexual development of the adolescent and the associated family and environmental influences, it would be inappropriate to expect a junior student to grapple with such a topic.

The needs of senior students must also be considered. Topics such as homosexuality and homophobia may place a great deal of pressure on the student at a time when the teenager is still struggling with his/her emerging self-identity and issues of fear, uncertainty, anxiety and confusion. These should never form the basis of compulsory assignments or classroom presentations.

Parental permission is recommended for any formal classroom discussion involving sensitive issues. Such topics as abortion, homosexuality, sexual activity, etc, need to occur in a context of parental permission, input and follow up.

All resources need to be previewed thoroughly. Avoid anything that may be overly graphic in illustration and explanation. Consider the origin of all the material used. Is it from an organization that has a political agenda or financial motivation?

Discussions about personal issues can also lead to students unwittingly divulging information about themselves or people they know which, in hindsight, they would have rather kept private. It is important for the teacher to be conscious of this and develop a “one step removed” approach to the discussion whereby the confidentiality of a known person is not breached.

Teachers also need to be aware of the student or students who are more vulnerable and in need of protection. If the teacher is aware of a student who is perhaps not following the mainstream to the majority of students, then the teacher may be able to step in at an appropriate time to curb any teasing and taunting of that student which may occur. If that “bullying” is left unchecked, the behaviour of others to that vulnerable student may lead to what is commonly referred to as “poofter bashing”. This type of unfair and incorrect labeling can sometimes occur to a student whose interests are different from the majority of students, for example, the more artistic and creative male student. For the young person whose confusion or uncertainty about sexual orientation and behavior is linked to a history of incest or sexual abuse, the need is clearly for appropriate counselling.

We need to be mindful of adult anxiety leading to overkill concerning sexuality choices. Just as we would hope to educate our young people to make wise heterosexual choices, so too we would exercise caution so that an adolescent isn’t propelled into an inappropriate lifestyle based on confusion and uncertainty. Encouraging them to explore an area where they are exposed to risk-taking behaviors, both physically and emotionally, does not take into account their immature cognitive development as well as the possible tentativeness and vulnerability associated with identity formation.

Our young people need to understand that they do have choices and are not homosexual just because of some doubts or transient experiences. There are some homosexuals who believe themselves to be gay from an early stage but there is another group whose sexual orientation is heterosexual but are drawn to homosexual activity because of circumstances. This latter type of homosexuality is referred to as contextual homosexuality. The activity here is based on a particular setting or context and should not be classified as an absolute orientation. Therefore it is necessary to understand the how, when and why of the activity and what it means for the young person. We do no favors and, in fact, may be doing a great deal of damage if we encourage young people in the belief that they are homosexual when they are not.

The danger with the theory that gays are born and not made is that there is no choice. This can foster a sense of inevitability and helplessness. It can also rationalize guilt associated with same-sex encounters. With opposite sex relating we would seek to delay sexual activity ideally until the person was in a committed marital relationship. The current climate, however, encourages sexual activity long before this and assumes that there will be a number of sexual partners. The implication is that having sex is inevitable and this tends to give the disempowering message that young people can’t control their desires. We don’t condone lack of control in relation to anger, greed or prejudices, so why should we promote it in the area of sexuality?

Our young people need the chance to explore who they are in a safe and supportive environment, one that facilitates the normal course of their growth whilst developing their ability to discern the implications for their choices. The quest is to develop the ability to relate in a healthy way to both sexes, to take responsibility for personal sexual activity and to function in a well-rounded and secure way. The capacity to relate in a healthy and mature way is a feature of adulthood, not childhood or adolescence.

It is therefore important not to interrupt or influence the normal process of child and adolescent development, allowing for all phases of this process to be engaged in, worked though and resolved, resulting in a naturally determined sexuality.
 

Biddulph, S (1994) Manhood. A book about setting men free. Finch Publishing. Sydney

Bowlby, J (1973) Attachment and Loss: Volume 2. Separation: anxiety and anger. Basic Books, N.Y.

Brown, S (1998) Teenagers say they want rules. The Age, Melbourne 20/2/1998

Coslovich, G (1996) Boys lack role models. Herald/Sun 24/7/1996.

Dow, S (1996) Young gay men greater risk of suicide: study. The Age. 7/10/1996.

James, M Ed.D. and Jongeward, D Ph.D (1971) Born To Win. Penguin Books.

Lindgren, Henry Clay and Byrne, Donn (1971) Psychology. An introduction to Behavioural Science. 3rd edition. John Wiley and Sons Inc. 1971

Moberly, ER (1983) Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic. James Clarke & Co, Ltd.

Viorst, J (1986) Necessary Losses. Fawcett Columbine. N.Y. 1986

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Updated May 2005