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The
Optimistic Child - A Revolutionary approach to Raising Resilient
Children
by Martin E.P.Seligman, Ph.D.,
With Karen Reivich, M.A., Lisa Jaycox Ph.D. and Jane
Gilham, Ph.D.
A Review by Peta Dale
B.B.Sc. (Hons.); Dip.Psychotherapy
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As with immunisation
against physical disease, there is an understanding that the
disease of depression can be prevented through encouraging a
sense of optimism and personal mastery. |
Review of
Martin Seligman’s theory of psychological immunisation.
Self-esteem as
a by-product of action.
Optimistic thinking.
Ways of
handling failure.
Seligman
presents the idea of childhood “psychological immunisation” against
depression. As with immunisation against physical disease, there is an
understanding that the dis-ease of depression can be prevented through
encouraging a sense of optimism and personal mastery. Based on the
results of the Penn Prevention Program and his study of Learned
Helplessness, Seligman brings in the theory of Erickson’s stages of
development and Aaron Beck’s Cognitive Therapy into a well-formulated
program.
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A new emphasis in Self-Esteem |
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In straining
to quickly achieve self-esteem in children, Seligman believes that there
has been an emphasis on “...how the child feels at the expense of what
the child does - mastery, persistence, overcoming frustration and
boredom, and meeting challenge” (p.27). This has left children without
confirmation in the real world. The possible inconsistency between what
the child is told and what is experienced about the self, can lead to
confusion and mistrust.
Such affirmations of self-worth are empty without concurrent success in
the world. “The feeling of self-esteem is a by-product of doing well”
(p.33). It cannot be separated from action.
Seligman writes that we have also been misled in believing that feeling
good about ourselves can come about through trying to avoid “bad”
feelings. In fact, this avoidance can itself lead to depression. Feeling
anger, sadness and anxiety can be useful as indicators to the need for
change and as a driving force towards mastery and action. It is
necessary to fail, feel bad and to try again repeatedly until success
occurs. When we impulsively protect our children from failure, we
deprive them of learning mastery skills.
Mastery
skills involve the way the child thinks, particularly when he or she has
failed. The child questions “Why did I fail?” or “Why did I succeed?”
The basis of optimism is in the way that the child thinks about causes:
the Permanence of bad events, the Pervasiveness of bad events and who
and what is at fault, the Personalisation of the events.
The child who
thinks in a pessimistic way tends to use terms like “always” and
“never”, seeing bad events as permanent. Optimistic thinking involves
using “sometimes” or “lately” to explain a bad event. When considering
the pervasiveness of bad events, pessimistic thinking is global,
encompassing many situations, while optimistic thinking is specific.
Seligman suggests that there is a need for the child to take realistic
responsibility and consider behaviour rather than general self-blame.
The pessimistic explanations of failure undermine trying and produce
hopelessness while optimistic explanations are the basis of seeing
failures as challenges with associated activity and hope.
There are many exercises presented for changing the child’s explanatory
style, developing skills for disputing unrealistic interpretations and
for boosting social skills and problem-solving skills. These rules of
thumb are given for caregivers:
Parents and
teachers are given The Five Steps to Problem-Solving:
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Slow down
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Perspective taking - put yourself in other’s shoes
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Goal
setting
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Choosing
a path or course of action. Compare pros and cons
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If it
doesn’t work try another plan.
“Parents,
teachers and coaches are enormously influential in modelling social
skills, problem-solving skills and imposing their explanatory style on
children” (p.108). This means that awareness of one’s own explanatory
style is essential for imparting optimism.
Seligman
brings relief and hope in his book, The Optimistic Child: relief that
there may be an explanation for the current sweep of adolescent
depression and hope that something can be done. The message instills the
very thing Seligman is showing us how to reach - a sense of optimism.
|
See
Resilient Kids
2 CD Set - Primary and Secondary
Helping
with depression through resilience and life skills |
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Updated May 2005 |
