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Look for
ways to win
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Do you handle your life
like a
WINNER or LOSER?
Listen to this story about Billy and Carey and find out who
handles their emotions better, Billy or Carey? |
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Billy has just finished video
taping a presentation for his next English class. |
Students were asked to
present a 5 minute taped talk about themselves. To prepare for this,
Billy had set the scene in his bedroom. He displayed all of his prized
possessions and memorabilia out on his desk and prepared the main points
by writing them in large print and sticking them to his cupboard door.
His dad had videoed the
presentation for him and after viewing the end result, Billy thought
that the teacher would be pretty happy. There were a few mistakes he
felt disappointed about, but for a first attempt he felt he had done OK.
He thanked his dad for helping him and thought about how he might tackle
his next video presentation.
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Carey felt very differently at
the end of her taping session. |
She had prepared in much the same way, but things didn’t go
quite to plan. She kept wanting her dad to re-tape the scene because she
felt it wasn’t good enough, even though her dad had told her that she
could edit any mistakes out in the final presentation. The more
re-taping that her dad did, the more frustrating it became for them
both.
When it was finally finished, they sat down together to watch the video.
With her head down, Carey told her dad that she still wasn’t happy with
it. She was very worried that the teacher would think it wasn’t as good
as the other kids’.
She knew she had probably spent more time than anybody else but still it
wasn’t good enough. Next morning she said to her mum that her video was
no good and that she’d never be able to do it right. She went to school
feeling very down after having worried about it all night. She told the
teacher she hadn’t done the task because the video camera wouldn’t work.
Billy's way of thinking and
acting can be called de-catastrophising - he recognised his achievements
and looked at his disappointment in a realistic way. He made plans to
learn from the experience and move on.
Carey's way of thinking made a catastrophe out of a disappointment -
she talked herself down and couldn't look realistically at her
achievements. She couldn't move on from the disappointment she felt.
The things you say to yourself can affect the way you handle
situations. Read these examples of positive and negative thinking.
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Positive Thinking - De-Catastrophise
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Negative thinking - Catastrophise
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Talk yourself into winning,
not losing. A failure is not a catastrophe. It's a building block to
success.
These are only general
suggestions. You should always seek outside help if you are unsure what
to do. If you need to talk to someone right now you can call
OPEN DOORS
COUNSELLING
5 Greenwood Ave Ringwood. 3134
Ph: (03) 9870 7044
Freecall outside Melbourne 1800 647 995
Email: info@opendoors.com.au
Updated May 2005 |
